Let’s Talk About FEAR


I was having a discussion with someone about her being annoyed. She was highly agitated at a process she believed was wasting her time. I immediately felt uncomfortable, which I have come to realize is the way my emotions inform me that I have slipped out of love or gratitude or something is up. I paused to assess my feelings and realized her annoyance could hinder her creation of success she is working so hard on. I became uncomfortable because I want so much for her to achieve what she is working so hard to create and I inherently felt that she was out of alignment. I thanked my feeling of discomfort, returned to love, and tried to direct her to this same realization.

Have you ever tried to help an angry or highly agitated person not be angry or highly agitated? Well, it’s like trying to put a rattle snake into a cage! It is not an easy thing to do. When I suggested she was vibrating with fear, she disagreed and explained that annoyance was not fear. She kept re-explaining the waste of time process – as if I had missed this or didn’t fully understand the ridiculousness of the process and therefore didn’t understand why she was justified in being annoyed.

I asked her if she agreed with the statement that there is only Love or Fear. She did. However, I’m not sure this statement was a belief for her. A statement that has clicked – where you experience an aha moment in your understanding of something and truly believe it.

It is perhaps easy to understand that anger is fear, but what about shame, guilt, sadness, anxiety, discouragement, apathy, worry, frustration or disappointment? Can you recognize that these are all expressions of fear? If there is only love and fear, then all emotions must fit into either the love category or the fear category. It is easy to know when an emotion fits into the love category because we feel happy, excited, or uplifted – everything feels right with the world, but it would seem more difficult to understand when we are being motivated by fear.

When her resistance lowered a little to this concept, she asked: “Ok, so what am I afraid of?” I wish I had the power to answer this question, for her, for you, for everyone, but unfortunately it is beyond my pay grade. It is not in my power to know what another person is fearful of. Heck, it’s hard enough to figure this out for myself.

If I was to guess, I’m thinking it may be tied up with not feeling good enough and perhaps a fear of failure, or more difficult to grasp – fear of success. Perhaps she was subconsciously setting the stage to blame the establishment for its backward processes if she didn’t reach her goals. Giving herself a way out. I felt uncomfortable, because – what is she creating with this annoyance? The success she desires?

All human behavior is motivated by two things—seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. When you understand this, you can consciously process fear emotions. Annoyance is an indication that you are trying to avoid a perceived pain. Possibly the pain of failure? Tony Robbins says that “The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.”

So how do we control pain/fear before it controls us? For me, I don’t believe we need to know exactly what the fear is. We don’t need to diagnose it. Assess it. Or understand it. We just need to use our emotions as a guidance and then put into process our ‘return to love’ protocols. When you return to vibrating with love, or gratitude, you know that whatever you do from this joyful place, will be in your best interest and in alignment with your desires.

So here’s to you fine tuning your emotional compass and creating a permanent state of positivity. Thank you for reading my article. 

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email