When Bad Things Happen


It was with shock and horror I watched another unarmed black man being killed by a white police officer! This time in Minneapolis and the victim’s name is George Floyd. My heart just sank. I hung my head in sadness and despair. My first reaction was to hate the police officer along with all police officers. Power corrupts and something must be done about the police officers who are just out of control! (How’s that for a judgmental statement?) 

I was born in Zimbabwe but lived most of my life in South Africa. I emigrated 8 years ago to California to escape the political corruption, instability and crime rampant each and every day. A defining moment: when I was pulled over by a police officer for apparent speeding but instead of a ticket, a bribe was elicited from me. I do not carry cash, so only had a minimal amount of money on my person. I acted stupid, and when the police officer blatantly asked if it was all right with me to receive a ticket, I replied that it would have to be as I only had R20 (about $1.15 in today’s exchange rate) in my purse. Upon hearing this the police officer dismissed me. When I asked if he wanted the R20, he said he didn’t and sent me on my way without a ticket. I abhor this lawlessness and couldn’t wait to feel safe and secure in America where I could trust the police and be protected. It is a difficult reality to find the same issues with the police here in America – a law unto themselves.

As soon as I thought these unloving, vengeful thoughts about police officers, a warning bell went off inside me. I have trained myself to become aware of how I’m feeling, and as soon as I’m not feeling content, happy, joyful or any other elevated loving feeling, I take note! As you can empathize, my initial response to this tragedy did not make me feel content in any way. Far from it. I felt sad, angry, overwhelmed, unsafe, caught in a vortex of never ending cruelty and prejudice.

I was desperate to raise my vibration and do something about this act of violence that didn’t add to the collective anger and despair or to bring my vibration in line with the outpouring of shock and horror. After all, if I am one with God, then I love unconditionally and this includes the police officer, not so? I wasn’t sure what to do or how to go about it, so I asked (with quite a bit of anger and as if it was God’s fault indeed) for guidance and a resolution as to how to respond in a loving manner to this sad situation and with immediate response a thought popped into my mind. Nothing I have ever thought or considered before, but something that immediately made me feel better and helped me see everything from a perspective of love. “You can’t love someone more, by hating someone else.” This thought made me take note straightaway. I was amazed by the simplistic logic and instantaneously felt an outpouring of love within me for George Floyd AND the police officer, Derek Chauvin. 

It occurred to me that:

a. George Floyd and the police officer(s) collectively created this experience. Both sides of the equation had to be resonating at the same/similar level to co-create it and make it play out the way it did.

b. What an amazing soul George Floyd is for playing his part in this to help Derek Chauvin and all of us along with him learn from this experience and to grow spiritually. Through his death we can all find love and forgiveness and bring change to our world.

c. Derek Chauvin is in his own personal hell right now and for that I can have compassion. I am sure Derek became a police officer to help people, so to face what he has now done and the angry population that goes with it, must be extremely humbling and a difficult circumstance to come back from.

The scripture from the bible, Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” came to mind but with clarity I had not had before. I recently read in A Course in Miracles about forgiveness “God does not forgive because He has never condemned.” Think about that for a moment. God is a God of love. To condemn or judge someone guilty is not done with love. Therefore, God does not condemn leaving no use for forgiveness. I then realized that what is meant in Luke 23:34 is not that they need forgiveness because they have transgressed, but they need forgiveness for they know not what they do, because if they did, they wouldn’t do it. It’s not about right or wrong, it’s about consciousness. I am sure Derek Chauvin did not know how the story was going to play out. I’m sure he had something very different in mind. If he knew he was going to kill George Floyd, I have no doubt he would have removed his knee from George’s neck and probably wishes that he had. Nobody is all good or all bad. Not I, not you, and not Derek Chauvin. Nor does what we do, make us who we are. Make no mistake, what Derek Chauvin did is reprehensible, but he is still God’s son, one with us, who desperately needs to learn, give and receive love.

I am so grateful to George Floyd. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being the catalyst to my spiritual growth and helping me see through the eyes of love. Your death is most certainly not in vain. I am eternally grateful to Derek Chauvin for exactly the same reason and I encourage you to forgive Derek for he knew not what he was doing. I have no doubt that Derek Chauvin is learning a great deal right now about love, hope, peace, forgiveness and humility. I send love to the family of George Floyd and the family of Derek Chauvin. This is certainly a difficult time for all concerned. I hope they can honor George by helping others see through love.

Thank you for reading my blog. Sending you loving feel-good vibes.

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